Livid middle-aged woman on the 149 unleashes a torrent of abuse at great volume, directed at a confused young man looking for directions to Graham Road, who she claims is the Devil’s representative on Earth. Her reasoning is that Monday is the Lord’s day, and because he is working on the arbitrary Sabbath held sacred by her sect of Christianity, it logically follows that he is purposely trying to subvert the work of “Jesus Christ our Lord Amen”.
Woman proceeds by attempting to elicit an ‘Amen!’ from the other passengers. Passengers merely avert their gaze.
I’m curious as to which church observes a Monday Sabbath. Anyone?
I haven’t even left my house today and have already witnessed two old men arguing vociferously about the best way to roll up a carpet and a small child scampering along in a pair of brogues several sizes too big.
Venturing out shortly - will report back soon. Hopefully with pictures.
What a glorious April afternoon in Dalston! And to my delight, the sun appears to have unleashed a deluge of bizarre activity in our eccentric little town.
Popping into Tesco to pick up some essentials, I was lured into conversation with a lady in the milk aisle, where I was helpfully informed that the look of displeasure on my face was my body’s way of letting me know that I am intolerant to lactose (not, as I had believed, related to low stock of the items I was hoping to purchase), an affliction which incidentally her husband would be able to cure using only scalp-massaging techniques at his home-surgery in Hackney Downs (an impressive skill, if true, though still irrelevant to my non-existent dairy issue).
Rob Monk encountered somone’s vinyl collection sprawled sleeveless and naked across the pavement near the D&T cafe on Kingsland Road, and I was caught somewhat off-guard by a lady pushing a buggy, who, as we passed each other outside the Yucatan Bar on Stoke Newington Road, turned and with great vehemence, greeted me with just one word: MUMMY.
(We are unrelated.)
Additionally, a man offered me both spiritual salvation and cheap calls to countries that, although the only geographical qualification in my possession is a humble GCSE, I am certain do not exist (Eximalia, anyone?) and a small child on Dalston Lane bit a man’s leg.
Tramp rabbit. Spotted by Russ Hodges on the Stamford Road end of Buckingham Road.
Shouty tramp on Balls Pond Road appropriating adjectives to passers by. Mine was ‘bluish green’.
The chaps at The Alibi were surprised when an otherwise unremarkable young man attempted to leave with several rolls of cheap toilet paper stuffed under his jacket, and last night a brief stop in the supermarket closest to Palatine Road was made far more interesting by a somewhat inebriated Rastafarian man who declared the shop’s produce ‘forbidden fruit’ and sang a song about riding an upside down biscuit.
